beauty & truth

I am already nearly 3 weeks deep into the study abroad program, and so much has happened that I’m getting terribly lazy to even attempt to recap every single detail. And unfortunately my camera use has been just as languid, so I don’t even have sufficient pictures that can elicit all of the emotions and experiences that I have been through during these past weeks. So I apologize, again to my readers at home, how textually populated and dense my posts are becoming.

What I love most about this whole experience so far is that I’ve been challenged, through a range of different mediums and on varying degrees, every day since I’ve been here. My Vietnam Society in Transition class dares me to question the everyday infrastructure of Vietnam and forces me to put in perspective what kinds of changes and effects have transpired during this period of “development”. In my Vietnamese language class I’m not allowed to speak a word of English (so help me god). And of course, I’ve met the most diverse and inspiring group of people here, who have motivated me in so many different aspects. Grad students who are relentlessly working towards admirable causes, effervescent girls whose energies are only infectious to everyone around them, guys who audaciously approach and strike up a conversation with completely random strangers on the street… Everything about this program-my classes, my classmates, my fellow EAPers, my roommates, the Vietnamese people, the city- has been conducive to my self growth and has pushed me out of my comfort zone.

In response to my first blog post here, Thanh asked if Vietnam has thus far lived up to my expectations. In all honesty, I found this simple question to be difficult to answer, not because I feel conflicted about Hanoi and its multifaceted social, political and economical dynamics, but because I’m not even sure what my initial expectations were to begin with. I knew what I would be getting into; I anticipated the haphazardly dusty streets and the unorthodox system (or lack thereof?!) of traffic , knew that I would witness extreme class stratification, and understood that basic necessities back at home would conversely be luxury items here. But I was unprepared for many things. I was surprised at the kind locals who will go out of their way to help accommodate me. I’m still apprehensive everytime I cross the sea of honking trucks and motorbikes, unassisted by any streetlights. I still marvel at the tiny streets in Pho Co, each unsuitably named but aptly equipped with a theme of products catering to your every need, ranging from shoes to metal and tin tools. I feel disheartened when I see so many Vietnamese people living in such small spaces and in insufficient conditions, but simultaneously I am contemptuous towards extravagant plans of new development implemented by foreigners. The class disparity here is so inconsistent; how can one drive an SUV Porsche through the streets of a city whose average monthly family salary is around $70? I feel disconcerted by organizations that on the surface seem like they are a working towards a more fulfilling mission, but in reality the fundamentals of their system are so very flawed.

To answer (albeit longwindedly!) Thanh’s question, I think that ultimately Vietnam, for now, has lived up to everything that I had thought it would, but at the same time I have much more to learn, to see, and to experience. Although at times the incessant honking from the trucks and the extreme humidity drives me crazy, I still find Hanoi to be charming and beautiful and so enriched with cultural history. While some people may think I'm being naiive and overly optimistic, I personally would just like to think of it as trying to seek the beauty in everything, without having to compromise truth, ya feel? [:

my favorite i've taken so far. i love that it feels so tranquil, even amidst the chaotic traffic that is just a few steps away.